Holy Mess, Whole Me

It’s been a week since our world was shaken up. 7 days. It has felt like no time and a life time all the same. And as the dust has settled and we have begun to figure out what life looks like for us now I will be the first to admit this: I am an “immdiate gratification” kind of person. When things get broken, I want to fix them. When there is a problem presented, I want a solution. And when life gets hard, my natural instinct is to go looking for answers as quickly as possible.

The thing I am learning the most is that life doesn’t always work that way.

Years ago when Dusty and I were going through another church hurt situation, a pastor told us that he believed that we were in a “holding pattern.” While we were looking for a place to land, God was still working to clear the runway and make it safe and secure for all on board. And for whatever reason, it appears we are in that holding pattern yet again.

But you know what? Some of the most important parts of our stories are lived out in the in-between-the seasons of waiting, questioning, and not fully understanding. As much as I desire a neatly packaged solution every time I hit a roadblock, I’m realizing that God often does his deepest work in the places where I don’t have any control.

And if I’m going to be honest, I struggle the most with that part.

Sitting in the discomfort of the not knowing feels so unnatural. It makes my skin crawl, my stomach hurt, and by throughts spin in circiles. I want a plan. I want something to hold onto. But again and again, I am reminded that so muc of life is truly about the waiting-waiting on God’s timing, trusting His faithfulness, and remebering that not every answer is going to come right away.

It really is very uncomforable but it is oh so necessary.

How to Get Better at Sitting in the Discomfort

If you find yourself wrestling like I do, here are a few practical steps that I have found help me.

Acknowledge your need for control.
It’s okay to admit that you want answers right now. Naming the desire for immediate gratification helps you see where you might be pushing too hard for closure.

Practice slowing down.
When you feel the urge to “fix it,” pause instead. Take a deep breath, go for a walk, or journal your thoughts. Slowing down helps retrain your mind not to rush into solutions.

Lean into prayerful waiting.
Prayer doesn’t always bring instant clarity, but it anchors you in relationship with the One who does have the answers. Sometimes the act of praying is less about getting information and more about building trust.

Shift your focus from outcome to process.
Instead of asking, “When will this end?” or “How will this be fixed?” try asking, “What is God teaching me in this moment?” The season of waiting often develops character, patience, and faith.

Give yourself grace.
Learning to wait well is a process. Some days you’ll do it beautifully; other days you’ll want to rush ahead. Bothare oaky. God’s patience with you is greater than your impatience with Him.

The truth is, I very much do not enjoy the discomfort of not knowing. But I’m slowly learning that it is in those very moments-when answers haven’t come, when the way forward isn’t clear-that my faith has grown the deepest roots.

And maybe, just maybe that’s the point.

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