Holy Mess, Whole Me

Happy New Year.

Another year of deciding I’m going to write consistently, grow this little space on the internet, and then failing miserably. Well, Ok..I didn’t fail miserably because I mean I did share some stuff throughout the year last year but consistent I was not.

Because you know what, life happened. As it does…As it does…(sorry, inside joke). Anyway, here’s a little bit of an update since I posted back in October.

The kids put on another amazing theater show and then I immediatley had surgery on my heel/achiles. Two holidays and lots of weeks have gone by and I am still healing/recovering. I wish I could say that I have handled it gracefully but that would be a big fat lie. Much like the ones I told myself and others about how I would be fine through this procees and it wouldn’t be a big deal. New flash: I has been a huge deal.

So time to get honest: not only has my physical health taken a hit with this (it is so strange for me to say repeatedly that I MISS THE GYM), but my mental health has also taken quite the beating. I am so used to being independent and doing things on my own. Silly things like maintaining my household, cooking meals, showering. But now I basically sit on the couch binge watching trashy reality TV (hello Secret Lives of Mormon Wives and anything Gordon Ramsey), directing my sweet husband and children as to how to get things accomplished.

I wait to have food provided, drinks brought to me, and well…basically anything else I might need. I try to not bug or bother everyone because they all have their own lives to live and man is it a challenge. I want to just get up, walk to the kitchen, grab a snack, and move on with my day. But that is just not really an option at the moment. So I sit and wait and fight back the tears so others in my house don’t question my sanity.

January 5th I go back to the doctor and (fingers crossed) I will begin to start some weight bearing and hopefully I will hear from the PT place soon. (If not I’m going in on Monday to make appointments after I get the clearance.)

I am fully into dissertation work as well so that isn’t necessarily helping with my stress level either, but at least I know there will be some type of product at the end of it. I have enjoyed digging into the research but man, so many words. Weird for someone that loves reading, but there ya go.

So that’s it. That’s the update for today. I’m not making any big promises of changes for the new year, or claiming I will become a brand new person. I’ve set some goals, I have decided on some minor changes that will hopefully turn into some bigger changes, and I’m deciding to take life day by day.

Here’s to hoping I might manage to get something posted fairly regularly but I’m not gonna make any promises.