Holy Mess, Whole Me

Yesterday I shared that my husband was asked to resign from his position as Associational Mission Strategist (AMS) at the Mountain Valley Baptist Association (MVBA). This is a position he had held for nearly four years. During that time there was new life breathed into the association of 20+ churches. The finances were better than they had been in a number of years, the fellowship among the pastors was stronger than ever, and there were partnerships being developed that had never even been considered until he, through the grace and guidance of the Lord, drew various people together.

In one afternoon all of that came to a screeching halt. And if it were a matter of us packing up our home and lives and moving on to a different city or state to begin a new it would be one thing. However, that is not the case at all.

You see, along with is primary paid role as the AMS of MVBA, he also serves as the pastor of a small church that has been in desperate need of replant and revitalization, a process we have been working on for about 5 years now. And he will continue pastoring that church. While he or I look for other employment to pay our bills and provide for our family, we will remain faithful to that church and that congregation of people.

So here’s the issue: Our church is a member of the very association that has asked him to resign. So the question that weighs heavily in the air is “Are we still welcome here?” Do we still have a seat at the table or should us, and our entire congregation pack our belongings and move on to something else? And if so, what does that look like?

The second question that weighs heavily on my heart is what about my children. As I mentioned, our church, as beloved as it is, is small and has litttle to offer by way of relationship and growth for our kids just yet. We have been blessed by another church to fold our children in as part of them for quite some time. They attend Wednesday night activites, Sunday evening Youth group, and go to summer camps with this other body of belivers. Who happen to be part of the MVBA that has deemed my husband as unfit for further employment.

And so again I ask: Are we still welcome here? And not just are “we” but “are THEY still welcome there?” Do they still have a seat at that table, with the people who have said time and again the love and support us and them? Is that still true? Or will they be looked at as less than now? Not worthy to be part of the fold?

How do I know? How do I trust that the answes will be genuine and truthful? How can I not fear that my children will be rejected just as my husband has been rejected? Where do we go from here?