Holy Mess, Whole Me

Mental health is something many people still hesitate to talk about. Even though the world is becoming more open about these struggles, there remains a heavy stigma—especially in the church. Too often, seeking counseling or therapy is seen as weakness, as though admitting the need for help makes a person unfit or unable to manage life.

This stigma feels even heavier in ministry. For some reason, when a pastor or ministry leader acknowledges their need for mental health care, it is often treated like a disqualifying flaw. Instead of being cared for and supported, they are met with distance, suspicion, and sometimes even removal.

Sadly, my family is experiencing this firsthand.
Yesterday, my husband was asked to resign from his position at the Mountain Valley Baptist Association. Do I know for certain that his honesty about mental health was the reason? No. But considering the request came completely out of left field—and no one saw it coming until after he admitted his struggles—it is very hard not to draw that conclusion. He has been doing the hard work to move forward in health, yet instead of encouragement and support, he was asked to step down.

We are heartbroken.
Our children are deeply connected here. They have friends, activities, and a community they love. None of that seemed to matter in this decision. For us, it feels like the very people who should have come alongside us in love and compassion instead chose rejection. And now I find myself wrestling with something new: how do I look at people who once claimed to be our friends—people who said they loved us and had our best interest at heart—without fear and skepticism? The trust we once had feels fractured, and that wound runs deep.

I don’t share this out of bitterness but out of grief. I believe with all my heart that mental health is health. Just as no one would shame a leader for seeking treatment for a physical illness, we should not shame those who seek treatment for mental illness. Yet that is what has happened to us.

So now, we are left asking God, “Where do we go from here?” How do we pick up the pieces and move forward? I don’t have all the answers, but I know He does. And even in the midst of this deep hurt, I am choosing to trust Him with our next steps.

Thank you for letting me share a piece of our story. My prayer is that, in time, the church will become a place where honesty about mental health is met with grace, support, and compassion—not rejection.